Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do vagina's smell?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
