i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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