I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
its not stalking. its research.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
