i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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