I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
