I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
