Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
