Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
