The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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