The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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