I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
