12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
