he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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