glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
