In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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