**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
