i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
