Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
