He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
