I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
