one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She announced her abortion via fbk
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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