Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
