I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have demons in me.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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