I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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