Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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