"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
