and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
