i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
