there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
