i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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