i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
