Even the bartender felt bad for me
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
