I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My penis needs a shock collar
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My ass is underappreciated
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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