Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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