Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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