I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
