think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
