wat bout pragnant strippers??
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
