dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
meet me or not, i'm out of control
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
