Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
