Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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