I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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