I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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