so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
