Christians are straight up FREAKS
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
