Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
