you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
