Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
