Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My liver is preforming stress tests.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
