i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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